One way to think about work-life balance is with a concept known as The Four Burner Theory. Here's how it was first explained to me:
Imagine that your life is represented by a four-burner stove. Each burner symbolizes an important quadrant of your life.
- The first burner represents your family.
- The second burner is your friends.
- The third burner is your health.
- The fourth burner is your job.
The four burner theory says that “to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. And to be really successful, you have to eliminate two."
Three views of the four burners
My initial reaction to the four burner theory was to find a way around it. "Can I be successful and keep all four burners on?" I was wondering.
Maybe you could combine two burners. "What happens if I group family and friends into one category?"
Perhaps you could combine health and work. “I heard that sitting all day is not healthy. What if I have a standing desk? "Now, I know what you're thinking. Believing that you will be healthy because you bought a standing desk is like believing that you are a maverick because you ignored the sign to fasten your seat belt on an airplane, but whatever.
I soon realized that I was making up these solutions because I didn't want to face the real problem: life is full of tradeoffs. If you want to excel at your job and in your marriage, then your friends and your health may be affected. If you want to be healthy and successful as a parent, you may be forced to lower your career ambitions. Of course, you can divide your time evenly between the four burners, but you have to accept that you will never reach your full potential in a given area.
Essentially, we are forced to choose. Do you prefer to live an unbalanced, but high-performance life in a certain area? Or do you prefer to live a balanced life, but never maximize your potential in a certain quadrant?
What's the best way to handle these work-life balance issues? I don't claim to have solved it, but here are three ways to think about the four-burner theory.
Option 1: outsource burners
We outsource small aspects of our lives all the time. We buy fast food so we don't have to cook. We go to the dry cleaner to save time on laundry. We visit the auto repair shop so we don't have to repair our own car.
Outsourcing small portions of your life allows you to save time and spend it elsewhere. Can you apply the same idea to one quadrant of your life and free up time to focus on the other three burners?
Work is the best example. For many people, work is the hottest burner on the stove. It is where they spend the most time and it is the last burner to go out. In theory, entrepreneurs and business owners can outsource the job burner. They do it by hiring employees.
In my article on The 3 Stages of Failure, I covered Sam Carpenter's story about creating business systems that allowed him to work only 2 hours a week. He outsourced himself from the day-to-day work of the company while still reaping the financial benefits.
Parenting is another example. Working parents are often forced to "outsource" the family burner by leaving their children in daycare or hiring a babysitter. Calling out this outsourcing may seem unfair, but, like the job example above, the parents are paying someone else to keep the burner on while they use their time elsewhere.
The advantage of outsourcing is that you can keep the burner running without wasting your time on it. Unfortunately, getting out of the equation is also a disadvantage. Most of the entrepreneurs, artists, and creators I know would be bored and pointless if they had nothing to work on every day. All the parents I know would rather spend time with their children than leave them at daycare.
Outsourcing keeps the burner running, but does it work in a meaningful way?
Option 2: Embrace the constraints
One of the most frustrating parts of the four burner theory is that it sheds light on your untapped potential. It can be easy to think, "If I had more time, I could earn more money or get fitter or spend more time at home."
One way to handle this problem is to shift your focus from wanting more time to maximizing the time you have. In other words, you accept your limitations. The question to ask yourself is: "Assuming a particular set of constraints, how can I be as efficient as possible?"
For example:
- Assuming that I can only work from 9 to. M. At 5 p. M., How can I earn as much money as possible?
- Assuming I can only write 15 minutes each day, how can I finish my book as quickly as possible?
- Assuming I can only exercise for 3 hours a week, how can I get in the best shape possible?
This line of questions directs your focus towards something positive (making the most of what you have available) rather than something negative (worrying about never having enough time). Plus, well-designed limitations can improve your performance and help you stop procrastinating.
Of course, there are also downsides. Accepting limitations means accepting that you are operating at less than your full potential. Yes, there are many ways to "work smarter, not harder," but it's hard to avoid the fact that it matters where you spend your time. If you spent more time on your health, your relationships, or your career, you would likely see better results in that area.
Option 3: The seasons of life
A third way to manage your four burners is to divide your life into stations. What if, instead of seeking the perfect work-life balance at all times, you divided your life into seasons that focused on one particular area?
The importance of your burners can change throughout your life. When you're in your 20s and 30s and don't have kids, it can be easier to hit the gym and pursue career ambitions. The health and work burners are full. A few years later, you can start a family, and suddenly the health burner is reduced to a simmer while your family's burner gets more gas. Another decade goes by, and you may revive relationships with old friends or pursue that business idea you've been putting off.
You don't have to give up your dreams forever, but life rarely allows you to keep all four burners on at once. Maybe you need to put something aside for this season. You can do everything in your life, but not at the same time. In the words of Nathan Barry, "Commit to your goal with everything you have, for a season."
Also, there is often a multiplier effect that occurs when you fully dedicate yourself to a certain area. In many cases, you can achieve more by gambling hard on a certain task for a few years than by giving it lukewarm effort for fifty years. Maybe it's best to fight through the seasons of imbalance and rotate them as needed.
For the past five years, I have been in my season of entrepreneurship. I built a successful business, but it had costs. I turned off my friends' burner and my family's burner is only half working.
What season are you in now?
Work-Life Balance: What Burners Have You Cut?
The four-burner theory reveals a truth that everyone must grapple with: No one likes to be told they can't have it all, but everyone is limited in time and energy. Each choice has a cost.
What burners have you cut?